My journey did not start with the unexpected encounter of the other half of my soul, that night, but many years before, perhaps even before I was born. Yes, that’s most true, I think. I was born a seeker, from the youngest age I can remember I wanted just to know the secrets of the universe and bring enlightenment to the world. I have never known a deeper or more passionate purpose.
As a young person, I struggled with this calling. It frustrated me to no end that others could simply and plainly articulate their dream ambition while I, though considered bright, stuttered and failed to find the words to explain the vision of future me seeded in my head. In my first encounter with spiritual revelation I took solace in the notion that perhaps my purpose was so unique and pioneering that no words yet existed for it. And hence, if so, it was not *my* failure that it was never able to be shared.
I drove my mother somewhat crazy with my confusion as a young teen. Asking her repeatedly what is it I should “be” now I’m charged to decide. She gave the same comforting yet infuriatingly hollow reply each time – “you can be anything you want to be” . In spite if her honourable and encouraging intent, it was not the answer I wanted. Unconsciously I was probing her for her wisdom, words to describe it that surely she must know, having more years of experience. And maybe she did have words that she was too disciplined to say, because of her firm belief that it was not her place to choose for me or impose any personal expectation on my freedom to manifest my full potential. In hindsight, I cannot fault her approach. Though it was a source of great frustration for me at the time.
My adventurous spirit lead me to a risk taking young lifestyle. I tried a little of everything on offer, some of it pleasant and some not. I choose not to regret any of it. I can qualify this with the statement that it made me what I am today but even that seems unnecessary now. It simply was unbridled experience and that is infinitely better than none.
My first major spiritual awakening began when I was 18. This is the first contact I had with my higher self and her guidance/ influence in my life. Before this it would be fair to describe me as a mystic of sorts. I read Oracles and was comfortable with my experiences of prophetic dreams and signs. I was aware of soul connections with a number of important acquaintances in my life. With one, I even shared a telepathic connection which we had mutually acknowledged and used to win at Card games.. So when this revelation experience dawned for me, I was the least surprised. It seemed, for someone like me, this surely must have been inevitable.
The revelation began with a gentle message from my higher self, a nudge to pay attention and notice that I was surrounded by angels calling me to my true purpose. This purpose was neither physical, nor intellectual, but rather somewhere between, where the world is destined to go. Symbols for the physical and mental realm were given to me as the colours red and blue, respectively, and hence the in between world, the destiny of all of us, was the blending of these two on the spectrum, the “purple”. In the purple, all is known, past present future and all possibilities of them. It was given to me to access this knowledge was quite simply a matter of opening ones mind, freed of pretense, expectation or any presumption of former wisdom. In this state ones mind becomes as pure white light, innocent and curious like a new baby’s. To return ones mind to this state and “shine” the pure “wanting to know” from your soul onto the world between the physical and the mental was taught to me as the way to gain access to all the information and guidance I would ever need to bring me to enlightenment. It seemed all too promising and nice, so of course I began immediately with fervour seeking this new path.
At the time I also was blessed with a temporary ability to see auras. I believe now that this was so I could perceive the existence of purple crowns, specific aura features which looked like purple and gold streams attached to the heads of certain people, and understand what unique qualities about these people were evident in their connection to this future world. The purple crowns were artists mostly, and children. From this I gathered that artistic expression is most sympathetic in mode to the future world, as well as childlike imaginative expression. It later became all too evident that art is the self same nature as the purple, it’s language and its reality. And moreover, through our artistic expression and with the help of children bringing fresh imagination to the world each generation we bring this world out of the shadows and into ours.
And, so patently consistent with this truth, of course, it was through music that I first encountered my soul reaching across time and space, demanding my attention and calling me to fulfill my deep purpose.
I think perhaps all seekers have discovered this at some time in their journey. Art and music speaks to us, *personally* to us. But perhaps not all realise, as I did not understand either at first, that this voice is your own soul. It is *you* calling you to recognise who you are, you are the world, one with the universe, and exist not only here in your head but everywhere in time and space in many selves all working harmoniously to the same purpose of realising your potential as a soul with a body and a moment here in this grand creation we call life.
Seeing this truth could make one crazy, if we fail to realise the purpose of it is to reconnect us with our whole, powerful, self of oneness with creation. In our ego filter of “me and you” duality it is natural to assume that it is “others” who are reaching out to us and this will manifest frustration when we try to reach back and find that these others are unaware of any such connection with our person. This is as it should be because it is for the seeker to recognise their self in the others and acknowledge and come to terms with the infiniteness of ones soul.
My revelation lead me to discover the writing of Jane Roberts in the Seth Material. This book appeared to me as pure synchronicity as when I picked it up and claimed it I had no knowledge or even inkling of its contents. I was simply drawn to it from my soul and listening to the guidance of my higher self in conscious ignorance of any egoic pretext for choosing a thing to read, cracked it open and was transformed from inside.
The Seth Material discusses the ideas of oneness with All That Is, creating our own experience through beliefs and intent and probable selves of the soul. I was gobsmacked by the implications of this. Could I really bring to reality whatever I desired through mastery of the ego? I set about quickly to find out and soon had a small swag of confirmations notched up. Sometimes I thought I wanted riches and fame but in truth, I never possessed enough passion for these to remain focused and build the momentum of intent and expectation required. Sooner or later my attention would invariably turn to the ills of the world, madness, injustice and the desperate need for some magic and divine intervention down here to make things a bit more beautiful for everyone.
And so with my eyes to the hills, intending, more passionately than anything, to manifest my deep purpose of bringing some light to the world I dreamed of enlightenment and liberation. The long road which brought me here.