August 9 2014

Throughout my journey as a seeker of enlightenment, I have had a friend, a divine guide, advising me and cautioning me on my way. This higher self counsels me on my on my fears and hopes like the comforting voice of a Mother and directs me in my stages of growth like the tempered hand of a Father. Lately, in this trying time of my personal quest, the trusted voice of my ego has given way to the quiet intuitive guidance of my higher self and to my great joy it has lead me to encounter greater fortunes than I imagined possible.

The purpose of a twin flame relationship is not the purpose of the Twin Flames as individuals. Twin Flames have long given their purpose to the service of God by the time they unite and it is that purpose, the purpose of the Divine all that is, which underlines their union. I have been given to understand with utmost seriousness that the relationship between me and my Twin is not my relationship but God’s own, and to God’s purpose and will alone. This is certainly not a disappointment for me, such feelings as I have for my twin are a delightful gift under any circumstances and I would say Thy Will be Done!

On a number of occasions the universe has offered up a test of my resolve, though at the time it seemed like anything but. These occasions were small opportunities just thrown in my path, to speak my heart’s fondest desire. Each time, without thinking or even pausing to take in the opportunity at all, my mind jumped straight to him and I found myself over and over without hesitation deciding my only deepest and most fervent wish was to be with my Flame forever.

April 29 2016

Exactly one year passed when the challenge rose that truly tests that resolve. I say tests with full deliberation on the implication of this being a present influence.

I took my resolve, above, into meeting a person. It had been a long time since I had seen my flame and just a few days since we had talked and I had openly responded to his plans for marriage to another girl. I hadn’t done that before. It was a step. A not so unusual step in such a very unusual connection. You see, having so much intuitive insight into anothers circumstances is a difficult thing to navigate. The more you know in higher dimensions, the less you’re sure where you actually meet in the physical dimension. So it makes conversation difficult. For example, try “Hey last night when we were by that waterfall … except we weren’t… it was a picture in my mind that I could swear you were sharing with me….” hmmmm, that’s going to be awkward to broach… but it did happen, with someone. Not Twin Flame. And I could never find a way across that gap of connection. I wonder how some do. Do you just blurt it out and hope for the best?

Anyhow, so I met this person and this was all just supposed to be fun at this stage, a “get back up and enjoy ┬álife” moment. But it didn’t go as planned. Something all too quickly fell into place and I was drawn in before it even hit me. I went so far as to remind myself, with these big beautiful hazel eyes staring up at me, that this was temporary at best.
I started to wonder how I would be able to let him go, and we’d barely met.

I was changing, going through a pretty intense transformational period of my life, still reeling from the drastic turns of the previous two years and not so certain of my place yet in the ones to come. My life was, veritably, a whirlwind of cataclysms and losses. Not much to look at, but it was growing a strong person underneath, somehow. As these things often do. Most of it was fairly beyond my control, but still, not a place to be conducive to a successful love affair and these things definitely got in the way. On reflection, whether that should make me sad, is out to deliberation for now. If I can have only him or me, then I shall take <me>, but so much for me wondering how I would let him go; I sit brokenhearted for losing him.